The short answer to can you gaslight yourself is YES. Now let’s look at the long answer.
READING TIME: 5 Mins. Or JUMP AND SKIM:
This is the fourth article in a row that I have written about gaslighting.
“Or is it the third? Or fifth? Ah! It doesn’t matter, or does it? Nope, forget about it, it’s not important.”
The above inner voice was an example of a possible thought stream I could have had after writing “this is the fourth article on gaslighting”. It didn’t happen – I wanted to show how I dismissed the thought. I suppressed it and said to myself that it was not important, even though it was.
I just gaslighted myself.
One of the gas-lighters most useful technique is to tell you and other people that you are crazy. This becomes very useful (to the gas-lighter) when you tell people that you are being emotionally abused. People will not believe you as the seed has already been planted and they doubt your sanity.
Self-gaslighting is a thing and it goes on all the time. You get the job abroad to teach English, lose all your baby weight and write the first two chapters of your book. Great, until the Debbie downer voice (aka your crazy self) in your head tells you that all of it sucks. You’ll probably embarrass yourself when you stand up in class, you look more gross after losing the weight and you’re no J K Rowling, come on!
Has that hit home?
Of course it did, now, let’s look more deeply at what what gaslighting yourself looks like.
What Does Gaslighting Yourself Look like?
You gaslight yourself when you suppress your thoughts, feelings and emotions. This is not healthy and neither is marinating in them.
It is important to acknowledge how you feel and process your emotions. Nevertheless, once you have done this it is equally important to not ruminate and wallow in self-pity.
Suppressing feelings and emotions can lead to anxiety and depression.
The Pixar movie Inside Out expertly shows us the importance of accepting, expressing, and processing ALL emotions with the two main characters called Joy and Sadness. Eleven-year-old Riley is told by her parents that they will relocate to another city and the movie centers around how Riley feels about this.
In this clip, Joy realizes why Sadness is an important emotion for Riley’s mental health:
The character Joy accepts the character Sadness. Pixar superbly shows how to process emotions in a healthy way by being mindful of your feelings. This involves:
- Not getting caught up in the emotion
- Observing the emotion
- Not judging the emotion right or wrong
- Accepting the emotion
- Creating space to choose a healthy response
Do something for yourself, right now and say the following out loud:
“I will not suppress my thoughts, feelings and emotions. They are mine and they are valid. I will accept, validate, and work though them. Once done, I will not ruminate and linger but move on in joy.”
And say it again, once more with feeling.! 🤣
Being Emotionally Aware
It can be exhausting dealing with emotions but they are part of this life. I get it. But you wouldn’t want to be without them, like in the 2002 movie Equilibrium. Following World War III, the fictional place Libria decides to ban all emotions and emotionally stimulating objects as they blame these for causing the war. The people of Libria inject a drug every day to suppress their emotions.
The protagonist Preston (Christian Bale) stops taking the drug and begins to feel emotions. He wakes up and this is his first morning without the drug:
He is in awe and wonder as he stares at the rain and then the view of the city with the sunrise. His face says it all for me: an appreciation of another day and grateful for the experience.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Appreciate your emotions and accept them. Being emotionally aware and mindfully embracing your emotions will assist you in living a more harmonious and happy life.
What Being Happy Is NOT
How To Be Happy With Everything was an article I wrote where I explained that happiness is NOT an emotion, it is a choice. I also said that Joy is not an emotion either, unlike the movie Inside Out. Nevertheless, it’s still a highly entertaining and enjoyable movie plus it highlights the importance of looking inside your own mind. It got ten out of ten from me!
I want to point out that being happy is not about walking around smiling and spreading positive vibes. Rather, it is about acceptance of the moment, regardless of what is happening.
If you are not happy, you are not happy and there is absolutely nothing “wrong” with that OR with you.
Please take note of what I just said. It is okay to not be happy as you do not have to happy all the time. There will be times when you feel sad or angry.
Accept that you are not happy BUT for the love of lemons DO something about it so that you can move on and choose to be happy again. Your peace of mind is of utmost importance.
That is my message to you.
Your Choices Are Your Experiences
Your choices are your experiences so make beneficial choices for you. You can be happy with all you have right now.
If you are in a job you don’t like or an emotionally abusive relationship then choose to do something about it and in the meanwhile accept it.
One final message. Now you know that you can gaslight yourself – so stop it now if the abusive relationship you are currently in is with yourself. 👥
The name of The Game is Experience so let us experience Connecting and Sharing.
Have you got a gaslighting yourself moment you want to share? – comment below.
Save THIS PIN below to your Self-Care or Gaslighting Board to check later and have the information easily at your finger tips.