One of my core values is authenticity. Authenticity requires being honest with yourself and others. That has not always been the case. Back in the day, I found it very difficult to acknowledge how I really felt because I was a people pleaser with low self-esteem. Outright lying wasn’t what I was doing back then, I just wasn’t completely upfront. It was a way to avoid confrontation and keep everyone around me happy. By not acknowledging my needs I was lying to myself. I’m so over that now and my advice to you – don’t sing little lies to yourself, leave that to Fleetwood Mac.
READING TIME: 3 Mins. Or JUMP AND SKIM:
Over a period of time, those little lies you tell yourself roll into a big fat bunch of lies with you wrapped inside them. Low self-esteem and low self-worth will do that. You are so caught up with making sure people like you that you’ll bend over backward to keep the peace. You forget any feelings or desires you may have and throw them out the window. You tell yourself (consciously or subconsciously) that you are okay and that it doesn’t matter. So and so needs this more than you. Or, I have to go to that occasion or buy that thing because it is important to my friend/family member/work colleague / “fill in the blank”.
Little lies that are not sweet, to you or anyone else.
Having such a low opinion of yourself can manifest in many ways:
- No Personal Boundaries
- Unhealthy Relationships
- Stress, depression, anxiety
- Addictions and self-medicating
That list is not complete, there are many signs that are telling of someone who has no self-worth.
But the sneakiest and most subtle consequence – that sometimes comes much later in life – is when you wake up one day and realize you have no idea who you are.
You feel completely lost.
You do not know who you are, what’s important to you or what you want in life.
That my friends is a wake-up call to get to know the one person in your life that can truly help you and will have your best interests at heart – YOU!
Go Your Own Way
When Lyndsey Buckingham wrote Go Your Own Way it was his message to Stevie Nicks after their break-up.
My message here is a little different.
Go your own way as in – be you and not an idea of who you think you should be. Culture, society, family, friends, and whatever media you open yourself up to can and will influence you. That, coupled with having low self-worth will eventually result in you being completely clueless as to who you are.
Know this though.
The day you realize that this has happened either by your own wake-up call or by reading an article like this, is the day you can start your new life and become authentic.
It is also the day you start to get to know yourself.
It is possible to change and it doesn’t matter where you are in life or how long you’ve been on this planet.
The first step is to start believing that you CAN change. (Rest assured if you think you CAN, you CAN – I’m not even going to entertain the second part of that saying).
Christine McVie wrote Don’t Stop after her separation from Fleetwood Mac’s guitarist John McVie. Being an optimist, she said
”’Don’t Stop’ was just a feeling. It just seemed to be a pleasant revelation to have that ‘yesterday’s gone’.”Christine McVie, Fleetwood Mac
It is something to keep in mind once you know that you want to work on knowing yourself – it is important to not stop building up your self-esteem and living the life you truly want. The “old you” is in “yesterday’s gone”. Forget it and live in the present with the “real you”.
Writing about ways to build up self-esteem is my aim with this blog, so I will point you to some articles to read now:
Of course there are a lot more on self-sabotage, procrastination, social anxiety, online therapy and some reviews on books, courses and programs.
Take your pick – JUST START.
Unlike Buckingham’s song after their split, Stevie Nicks wrote more uplifting lyrics with Dreams. She looked on the bright side and dared to dream.
As you start to feel better from working on your self-worth and finally get to know who you are, you will begin to know what you want. Glimmers of a life you thought were near impossible become possible.
YOU dare to dream.
But it all starts with your revelation of knowing you are lost and having no idea who you are. Then you do the inner work and raise your self-esteem.
Finally, you start to dream and create the life you always wanted.
Believe it or not Fleetwood Mac only had one Number 1 hit (in the UK) – Albatross. You recognize the track the instant you hear it.
Albatross is a beautiful instrumental track written by the late legend Peter Green, thank you for your awesome creativity, RIP.
Life is short – Create The One You Want Now In Joy – Fly like a bird
The name of The Game is Experience so let us experience Connecting and Sharing.
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