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How To Focus On You

Before you ask, no, focusing on yourself is not selfish. To achieve external success and be present for others, you have to start within. So, actually, everyone benefits. Now that’s cleared up, let’s dive into how to focus on you because, in reality, no one really cares about you.

Wait. What?


It may be uncomfortable to hear, but people are generally getting on with their own stuff.  It’s real easy to waste time being overly concerned about what other people are thinking and doing but are they doing likewise?

Probably not.

There will always be close friends and family that care but other people are caring on a more superficial level.  What I mean by that is that this surface caring means that they won’t be there for you.  And why should they be?  They have their lives to lead, enjoy, and get on with.

Ask yourself, why are you focused on them?  Is it your giving nature to help others?  Or are you using that as an excuse to distract you from you?  If so, why?

Now, don’t get me wrong, helping and looking out for others is wonderful but like most things in life, there needs to be balance.  Overly focusing and concerning yourself with people’s problems, issues, life in general, or worse their drama will result in you ignoring your needs and life.  Ignoring yourself and what you need will result in having low self-worth.

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At the end of the day, you can only help others up to a point, they have to be able to help themselves.  Other people’s choices are their choices. Not yours.

Remember, cause and effect. You, me, the dog down the road makes a choice (cause) which then leads to an outcome (effect).  The effect could happen immediately, a few days/weeks later, or even years down the road.  But there will always be an effect that was preceded by a choice.

Take responsibility for YOUR choices and NOT other peoples.

Choices equal experiences.

Now, focus on your choices and create the experiences you want by focusing on you.

Things Or People To Avoid

You can deplete your mental energy by focusing on things or people that do not benefit you, and you need your energy to focus on you.  Here are a few types of people and things to avoid:

  • People that are always experiencing some type of drama.
  • People that talk too much (and possibly overshare) and/or talk at you
  • Gossip of any sort.
  • Getting caught up in judging and criticizing anything.
  • Judging and criticizing yourself, internally, show yourself some self-compassion.
  • Negative self-talk
  • Saying yes to everyone

Now that you’ve cleared out the above from your mind you’ve freed up space and energy to focus on you and what you truly want.  Here’s an old saying you’ve probably heard before: “Where focus goes, energy flows”.  Many in the personal development arena will quote it because it is true – I’m sure you have experienced this in one form or another in your life.

Start to get excited about what you will create in your life.

Get Excited About Focusing On You

Focusing on you is about trying out new things and re-shaping your life to experience what you want.  Learning how to do something new, reading more, or working on yourself are all ways to develop personally.  Learning and growing in and of its self will create a feeling of joy plus you’ll be creating a new future now.

“The way to predict your future is to create it.”

Abraham Lincoln

Old Abe knew what he was talking about.  Visualize what you want in your future as if it is happening now.  Take some quiet time and imagine what you are doing, how are you feeling, and where you are.  

It is important to not project yourself into the future, rather,  create the scenery, smells, and noises around you happening RIGHT NOW.  By doing this, you will start to set things in motion.  Ideas and thoughts will come to you so that you can then take the action required to move forward.


Apart from practicing visualization, what other things can you do to get the ball rolling on this new focus?

Things To Do To Focus On You


I found journalling a fantastic way to pull my mind back to me and clarify my thoughts.

I write in a couple of journals.  I have a paper journal and a spreadsheet. I like both for different reasons. I love buying a new journal to write in.  Not only are there loads of lovely looking journals to choose from but I like the act of writing, pen to paper.

Apparently, the brain is stimulated when writing longhand.  Researchers state that there is neural activity in certain areas of the brain, which is similar to meditation.

I haven’t looked into that much, I just know I enjoy it and it helps me to slow down and sometimes sparks creativity and ideas.

I record my business ideas and notes in the other journal on a spreadsheet that I created with Google Sheets.  It’s free and very handy as I can access it on my laptop and mobile anytime.


Relax your body and calm your mind for at least ten minutes a day.  Do this mindfully by bringing your mind and thoughts back to the present when it wanders.


Be kind to yourself and reduce negative self-talk.  Take time to investigate negative thoughts so that you can better understand yourself and highlight potential areas to work on.


Those potential areas you just found by practicing self-compassion can be worked on by discovering if you hold any limiting beliefs or thoughts that are self-sabotaging you.


Spend time alone, even if it is only for ten minutes.  Contemplate, reflect and check in with yourself.  How do you feel and what are you thinking?


Get away from all the electrical devices and gadgets.  Go for a walk to get some exercise or sit outside in nature.


Eat nutritiously, drink plenty of water throughout the day, breathe deeply and sleep well.


Try anything that floats your boat!  Learn a new language, start painting or drawing.  Write that book everyone says we have in us.  Buy some rollerblades and learn how to skate, and dance to Boogie Wonderland.  (Oops! That’s the new thing I want to try.) 😯

Focus On You 30 Day Challenge

Honestly, focusing on yourself and not others will lead to a healthier lifestyle both emotionally and mentally.  Being able to rely on yourself and make yourself happy is one of the BEST skills you will ever have.

Take some action now.  Focus on yourself for 30 days. Journal your progress and then reflect on the results.  

You may be sweetly surprised and want to continue doing it. 😉

The name of The Game is Experience so let us experience Connecting and Sharing. 

Will you do the Focus On You 30 day Challenge? Or do you already focus on you? Share your experience in the comments below.

Save THIS PIN below to your Self-Care or Self-Esteem Board to check later and have the information easily at your finger tips.

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