Are you stuck in a job you don’t like, involved in relationships you’ve grown out of, or generally unable to move forward to get on with your life? You are not alone. Most of us have experienced this at some point. I shed some light on how to get unstuck in life, and this is coming from someone who has gotten stuck and unstuck at various times in her life.
Let’s get into it.
I want this post to be useful and beneficial to you and me. That said, I have added affiliate links to this article and would love it if you decide to use them. 😘
READING TIME: 11 Mins. Or JUMP AND SKIM:
Three of the most common areas to get stuck in life are:
- A Job
- A Relationship
- Your Thoughts
Being in a job that you hate can be mentally, emotionally, and physically draining. After all, we spend a lot of our day at work. This can lead to feelings of hopelessness and depression. Sometimes self-medicating with drugs and alcohol. It can be a vicious circle.
Whether you are stuck in an intimate relationship or you’ve outgrown friendships it can be really hard to pull away. However, if the uncomfortable conversation is not had then feelings of resentment and obligation can come to the surface making matters far worse.
You can never get away from your thoughts so when you find yourself having constant internal chatter that is self-sabotaging and self-defeating it will stop you in your tracks. Words are literally wands as they cast a spell on us to stay stuck when we tell ourselves we are not good enough and we can’t do this or that.
So how do you get unstuck in life?
How To Get Unstuck At Work
You don’t like your job but you’ve got to continue doing it because you’ve got to pay your rent and bills. It feels like a no-win situation and no-way-out. It may feel like that but it doesn’t have to be like that. Right off the bat, I’m not going to say this is easy but at the same time, it is as hard as you want to make it.
I’ve got two steps to get you unstuck at work:
Step 1 – Change Your Perception.
Step 2 – Plan Your Out Strategy
Note that I realize I am putting this out when we are going through changing and challenging times. Nevertheless, I look at it this way. What is happening now will not be forever and therefore why not start preparing and begin getting unstuck now?
That said, here are the 2 steps to step to get unstuck from your job.
Step 1 - Change Your Perception
I know this works because I did it to get me through working at a job that otherwise would have driven me insane.
I changed my perception by first accepting the situation I was in. Which was working on the phone in customer service. I then decided to not complain, judge, or criticize my job, customers, or work colleagues. Instead, I decided:
- To accept every situation as it was rather than judge it otherwise.
- Engage and be present with each phone call, customer, or work colleague.
- Walked to and from work and got fresh air, exercise, and practiced being mindful, taking in all that was happening at that moment.
- Prepared delicious food for my hour lunch and sat outside to eat reading a book.
- Stopped rushing into work and rushing out.
The result of that change of perception and behavior?
I turned angry customers into happy customers, I made more money, and (drumroll please) enjoyed my workday. Yeah, I really did. Waking up in the morning got easier and I made more effort with my appearance too.
Depending on your situation at work I do realize this may be something you feel you cannot do. But, you do have a choice. Either continue moaning and being miserable every day at work or change the way you perceive your experience. You have to find something that you enjoy during your time at work.
That’s the first step and it is important as you only have today, this moment, right?
Get to this place mentally and it will not only make your workdays more pleasant but you will be in a better and more receptive state of mind to do Step 2.
Step 2 - Plan Your Out Strategy
Begin thinking about what you would rather do to generate cash. For example:
- Look for another job and start sending out CVs.
- Join online job sites and upload your details.
- Take some courses or classes to learn new skills.
- Do specific training for a complete change of career.
- Work online for someone.
- Work online for yourself.
- Think of ways to convert a hobby or interest into a business.
- Create your own website blog or shop and look for ways to monetize it.
Get out of rigid thinking about what you can and cannot do and take time to:
Think, reflect, research, and take action.
TIP: Write stuff down!
Be careful to not go down the internet rabbit hole and end up doing nothing but surfing. This is important as otherwise you will get lost in the information. Write down the information that is useful.
This will start to form your overall action plan to get out of where you are and to where you want to be.
Relationships That Suck And Keep You Stuck
You may have outgrown your childhood friend. Possibly you’ve been with your partner for four years and you know you don’t want to be with them anymore. A family member leaves you feeling down and unhappy whenever you spend time with them. Or worse, you are in a toxic relationship and you see no way out.
Choices are required and may be uncomfortable conversations to be had to get unstuck from the above examples. Let’s take a look at these in more detail.
A Childhood Friend
Childhood friendships can sometimes just naturally run their course and drop away without having to do anything. On the other hand, if you have a friend from when you were young and you realize that you have nothing in common anymore but you still like their company – limit how often you see them. By seeing them every now and then you can still catch up and enjoy being with them.
But if that friend is toxic or you really don’t like being around them anymore then you will have to have that awkward conversation. It is not easy confronting people but having known them as long as you have they may feel the same. Be sincere, honest, and kind without judging to get completely unstuck.
Having been with a partner for a long time and feeling stuck in that relationship is not unusual. Usually, the fear of being on your own again or not wanting to hurt the other person can keep us stuck.
Nevertheless, being upfront with your partner is best and sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it. By doing this you stop wasting your time and theirs.
Or are you confused in your relationship? Does your partners mood swing from being fantastic to being mean to you? Maybe you feel stuck some days and not others because of this? It’s possible that you are being gaslighted. Being gaslighted means being manipulated by another person so that you question your judgment, memory, or perception. I wrote a 4 part series on this subject, so check it out for more details:
A Family Member
We have all been condition by culture, society, and the media to believe that family is everything and should be protected at all costs. We’ve even got a saying for it “blood is thicker than water”. It is that programming that keeps us in family relationships even when they harm or make us miserable.
You get one life, so why put up with being treated in any other way than with respect and kindness? Regardless.
Getting unstuck from a family member can be extremely hard but sometimes it can be just a matter of setting a personal boundary.
By setting boundaries you can communicate to the family member what behavior is acceptable and unacceptable around you. Be clear and tell them (without blame or judgment, this is about YOU and not them). Remember to stick to what you say otherwise they will think you are not serious and go back to old ways.
Setting personal boundaries with all relationships not just with family is important to have healthy relationships. I wrote a piece on how to set healthy boundaries with a free worksheet and guide, grab it here:
But what if setting a boundary does nothing and your life is made miserable by them no matter what?
Then you need to either distance yourself or no longer have anything to do with them. Again, this is easier said than done due to family get-togethers and the like. But it is possible and yes you need to make a decision.
Have that uncomfortable conversation and be honest about how you feel.
Now don’t get me wrong, a supportive and loving family is great but then so is any relationship if it fits with that criteria. Just because it is a family member who does not give them the right to treat you in any other way than with kindness and respect.
Having your own back, looking out for yourself, and looking after yourself is important for your mental well being.
Speaking of mental well being, what about getting stuck with thoughts that are negative and that you cannot get unstuck from?
How To Get Unstuck From Negative Thoughts
The main thoughts that can keep you stuck in life are:
- Negative internal chatter
- The past
Negative Internal Chatter
Being plagued by negative thoughts all day that tell you how stupid you are or that you are not good enough will wear you and your self-worth down. Having high self-esteem and worth is key to living a happy, peaceful, and fulfilling life with great relationships.
Not only that but anything you try to change in your life will be sabotaged by those thoughts and the underlying beliefs. Getting unstuck from them is life-changing and necessary.
Getting unstuck from non-beneficial thoughts and beliefs frees up your mind to think of solutions to get out of that job you don’t like and have that uncomfortable conversation.
Once you change your thoughts and beliefs to support what you want to do your life starts to unfold in marvelous ways.
To get unstuck from negative thoughts and beliefs you will need to access your subconscious mind and reprogram it. By deeply relaxing to a receptive state of mind you can program your mind with beneficial affirmations and information. This needs to be done repetitively until the new program is accepted by the subconscious mind. You can do this yourself by getting into a deep meditative state and then listen to audios that you have made with specific affirmations for you.
OR – you can make use of the following pre-made audios, courses, and mind machines to assist and make it easier to reprogram your subconscious mind:
I Am Enough Online course:
There is a reason that there are many quotes and books on forgiveness – because it is important for all concerned to forgive and move on. Otherwise, you get stuck in the past and the hurt continues to eat away at you. No-one benefits from not forgiving.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
Lewis B Smedes.
Let go and get unstuck from all or any unforgiveness now.
Living in the past and wishing you could go back to certain times will keep you stuck there. You cannot go back, only forwards. But do not live in the future either. Stay in the present.
By practicing mindfulness you can begin to let go of past events and get completely unstuck from them.
Choices, Choices, Choices
To get unstuck in life IS possible. Some things are easier to get unstuck from than others. At the end of the day, it is all about choices.
Choosing to stay stuck where you are and living a mediocre or unhappy life.
Or choosing to move on, do the work that is necessary, or have the uncomfortable conversation.
I say, choose to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and take action because on the other side of that is a wonderful life.
The name of The Game is Experience so let us experience Connecting and Sharing.
Share your experience of being stuck and how you got unstuck in the comments below.
Save THIS PIN below to your Self-Care or Self-Hypnosis Board to check later and use some of the tips in your day.