Do you remember the song Dancing On My Own by the Swedish singer Robyn? She sings a sad tale of when you’re into someone, but they’re into someone else. And ultimately choruses: “I keep dancing on my own”. Covered by numerous artists including Britain’s Got Talent finalist Callum Scott and rock band Kings of Leon, it’s a popular song. But, what does that have to do with what is building self-esteem about?
Firstly, to make the point that ultimately we are all dancing on our own when it comes to trying to change ourselves. Secondly, Caleb Followill from Kings Of Leon suffered from low-esteem. Low self-esteem can affect anybody, famous or otherwise.
In other words, if you have low self-esteem, only you can do something about it. And low self-esteem can affect anyone, regardless of who you are.
I covered what self-esteem is and how it can show up in your life in my article What is Low Self-Esteem About? I mentioned in that article that people vary with what they need or want depending on their circumstances and where they are in life. So, I’m going to give a broad range of options to increase your self-esteem. From quick fixes to long-term solutions.
I want this post to be useful and beneficial to you and me. That said, I have added affiliate links to this article and would love it if you decide to use them. 😘
READING TIME: 7 Mins. Or JUMP AND SKIM:
Life is so much more enjoyable and easier to deal with when you have high self-esteem. Each new day is a happy day and you are content in it. When unpleasant or “negative” things happen you can deal with them more easily. You are not knocked for six and left spinning for days in turmoil. You deal with stuff efficiently.
When you have high self-esteem, it’s easier to choose to live in joy and happiness.
Your level of self-esteem and self-worth are intrinsically linked to how you experience life.
You start to really LIVE life when you have high self-esteem. Don’t wait to start living YOUR life.
“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.”
How To Build Up Self-Esteem Quickly!
The ideal is of course to high self-esteem and keep it that way. Even so, boosting your self-esteem can be down right now. But will it last? It depends.
Depending on whether you have low self-esteem or low self-esteem and low self-worth. They can be interlinked but there is a difference.
Words convey meaning, but not always the meaning you are trying to convey. I wrote about the many different selves and what they mean in What Is Self-Esteem? I won’t labor point again here. However, I want to be clear and convey what I mean when I write self-esteem and self-worth.
I’ll be clear with a story.
Imagine. School kids sitting on a bus waiting to go to the ferry port for their first school outing to France. The coach driver prepares to leave and starts to check the pupils. He walks up and down the aisle and counts the girls first.
I’m on that coach. I’m excited about France. I smile as I watch him walk closer towards me and wait to be counted. He walks right by. He misses me and doesn’t count me.
One word: Crushed. I was 11 years old and I’d just had my hair cut short for the trip.
“He thinks I’m a boy,” rang in my mind. Getting back home, my Mum never heard the last of it. I was devastated, and the thought stayed with me for the next few years.
Actually, for A LOT of years. True story.
It effected me that much and for so long because I had both low self-esteem and low self-worth.
Let’s say though that I’d had high self-worth. The coach driver experience wouldn’t have hit me quite so hard. Yeah, I would have had a knock to my self-esteem but because of high self-worth, I’d have recovered quickly. Instead of letting the experience affect me and my life so much and for so long.
So, you can have low self-esteem but high self-worth, make sense?
Let’s not mix up these with self-confidence either.
Self-confidence is a different kettle of fish altogether. That’s about having confidence in your abilities and trusting your judgments. That’s external. Unlike the internal view of ourselves that we have with self-esteem and self-worth.
Getting back to quick fixes. Quick boosts to your self-esteem can be achieved if you’re not feeling good about yourself.
Though, long-lasting solutions and the work that goes with that need time and consistent effort to accomplish.
Make a start now.
There are a lot of great books and online courses out there about boosting low self-esteem, low self-worth, and low self-confidence.
Having a fun night out with friends, getting a massage, buying some new clothes, and getting your hair done will make you feel better.
Nevertheless, it will only skim the surface (literally).
Fix Your Self-Esteem The Long-Lasting Way
Big LIFE changes rarely happen overnight.
And big life changes means big YOU changes.
More specifically changing YOU by changing YOUR subconscious mind.
Our beliefs are held in our subconscious mind. These beliefs have piled-up over time. From the moment you were born.
And I mean piled-up. Layer upon layer upon layer.
Beliefs will vary depending on your culture, family, friends, teachers, work colleagues, and the TV, media, news that you have been surrounded with.
You know when you hold negative beliefs because you repeat the same negative patterns. You try to change but either nothing changes or it changes but doesn’t last.
By changing your subconscious mind’s old programming (old beliefs and thoughts) to new programming (beneficial beliefs and thoughts) you will see your life change to what you want to to be.
IMPORTANT: if your beliefs don’t support the change you’re trying to make then you will not make the change last.
I wanted to change my life and stop my negative habits (e.g. smoking) and thoughts (e.g. I can’t “fill in the blank”) for a long time. It was until I dealt with my subconscious that I was able to make real progress.
The non-beneficial beliefs I had held for so long were buried deep. Hidden in my subconscious mind. How I valued myself, what I believed I deserved and what could or couldn’t do had to be uncovered. Once seen I pulled those negative beliefs out from their root and replaced them with beneficial beliefs.
I changed my perception.
And then. Everything changed for me.
It was as simple as that.
Simple but not easy. Remember the layer upon layer of beliefs that have piled-up in your subconscious mind that I mentioned earlier? Those layers and layers are the years and years of programming and conditioning. It cannot be changed overnight. And you can change a bunch of stuff and then uncover more that needs to be dealt with. It’s consistent work.
The investigative work and the change were not quick for me. It took vigilance, perseverance and discipline.
Do not be discouraged by this but be excited because the good news is…
Once you start to uncover and “delete” the old subconscious programs (old belief systems) you will start to see your life changing.
And it’s a domino effect.
Life gets better and better. It’s wonderful and it inspires you to do more if you make the decision and commit to doing the work.
Change your PERCEPTION AND YOU CAN CHANGE ALMOST ANYTHING.
Yes I hear you say but how do you do It? Read on.
Change Your Limiting Beliefs
First, you decide to keep an open mind (pun intended) to try something new. That something new is changing your limiting beliefs that are held deep within your subconscious.
Face it, if you’re reading this and you’ve got this far then you are looking for a solution that lasts.
And if you’ve been looking for a while…What have you got to lose?
And there are a variety of ways that you can change your limiting beliefs:
Tools (books, online courses, videos, seminars) and people (forums, websites, companies) can assist you. But you are the one that will be required to take action to change your beliefs.
Dance Like Nobody's Watching
You know, I’d be a happy bunny if reading my article What Is Building Self-Esteem About guided at least one person to change their life for the better. But if a whole lot more people did, even better!
Take the plunge. Take action now by:
- Reading my articles
- Reading a book
- Taking a course. (Like mine.)
You may be dancing on your own (as you build-up your self-esteem) but soon you will be dancing like nobody’s watching as you live the life you’ve always wanted.
That is if you decide to change your mind.
The name of The Game is Experience so let us experience Connecting and Sharing.
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