What Is Low Self-esteem About? - Girl Confused

What Is Low Self-Esteem About?

If you are asking what is low self-esteem about then you may have had the realization that this could be something you are wrestling with.  Great.  Not great that you could have low self-esteem but great that you are reading this.  

It is the first step to increasing your self-esteem.

By the time you finish reading this, you will have a much better idea of what self-esteem is all about.  But more importantly why YOU need to have high self-esteem.  And if you don’t, what you can do about it.

If you want the bottom line now then here it is:

YOU Need high self-esteem to live a fulfilling and happy life.

We’ll get into it, but first.

I’m going to share my experience with low self-esteem before I get into the nitty-gritty of what it is and isn’t, how to get high self-esteem, and some other bits and bobs.


Painfully shy were the constant words written at the bottom of my school report by my headmaster.  Through my senior school years and beyond I lacked high self-esteem.  Constantly concerned about what other people thought of me, I was self-conscious about the things I said or didn’t say and the way I looked.

Wait though, let me take a step back to when I was even younger.

It seems like I was born shy.  I spent a lot of my time alone in my bedroom entertaining myself. Usually reading.  Or making stuff.  I’d search for cardboard boxes and empty washing-up liquid bottles and endeavor to copy whatever Blue Peter (UK show) or any other kid’s TV program made.

A bit later on, I was obsessed with Charlies’ Angels (Farrah Fawcett days) and I would cut out pictures of them and stick them in my Charlie Angel’s scrapbook, don’t judge me 🤨

Yeah, I actually thought that I might one day work for a guy called Charlie that I’d never meet and be a private detective.  Oh, and ride a motorbike, take off my helmet and throw my head back while flicking my hair in the air.  (Think: Opening credits to Charlies’ Angels and Kelly aka Jacklyn Smith). 

 If you’re too young to remember that, take a look at this:

Hey, hold on now.

I’m telling you this so that you understand where I’m coming from.  Literally (the 70s and 80s) and figuratively (I had low self-esteem).  Not to have you feeling sorry for me BUT so you realize I had low self-esteem, and maybe you can relate?

I mean, you clicked on an article about self-esteem.  So, you either have or know someone who may have self-esteem issues, right?

Anyhow, let me continue.

Where was I?  Born shy, no self-esteem thought I wasn’t as clever or pretty as everyone else.  With a bit of an inferiority complex, you know, that unrealistic feeling of general inadequacy.

And then I left school at 16, got a job and started earning my own money.  Seasoned clubber by the time she was 16 my best friend took me to my first night club.  I discovered alcohol, my shyness disappeared and I suddenly felt confident.

Woo hoo!

Not Woo Hoo!

Not woo hoo actually, I will rephrase that completely.

Due to drinking alcohol, I got a false sense of high self-esteem and continued on that path for many years.  I enjoyed my life to a point.  But I got bored quickly with jobs.  I job hopped.  I had relationships but stayed in them far too long even though they weren’t healthy.  I lived for the weekends.  Partying and clubbing.

I dipped in and out of different jobs and self-improvement books but didn’t make any long-lasting change.  I would always revert to old patterns and behaviors.  Things didn’t stick and I didn’t know why for a long time.

Apart from the obvious coping mechanism (alcohol) I just mentioned I would also use humor.  I used humor to cover how I really felt and to make self-deprecating jokes.

I still make jokes and use humor but now it’s for completely different reasons.  I use my sense of humor to get through my issues and it works well.  I don’t take myself (or the world) so seriously and I can laugh and giggle at myself.  Because now, I have high self-esteem.

I didn’t just brush off difficult emotions and laugh them away.  I’ve gotten uncomfortable and dived into difficult emotions like sadness, anger, and disappointment.  I’ve done deeper work on myself.  It’s simple to do BUT it is not easy work.

And I still work on myself even though I’ve made a lot of progress.  It’s the kind of work that gets completed and then something else is discovered and then you deal with that.  I talk specifically about increasing self-esteem in What Is Building Self-Esteem About?

However, right now, let’s define self-esteem.

What Is The Definition Of Self-Esteem?

The definition of self-esteem, in a nutshell, is what you think about yourself.  Self-esteem is how much you like and appreciate yourself.  That’s it. 

The thing is, it starts to get confusing when you realize about the other “selfs.”  No, I’ve not gone all M. Night Shyamalan where his lead character in Split has multiple personalities.  I’m talking about self-worth, self-acceptance, self-confidence, etc.  

Self-Esteem vs Self-Worth

Self-esteem and self-worth are close companions, still, there is a subtle difference.  Self-worth is the value you place on yourself.  The feeling that you are lovable and valuable regardless of your personal characteristics.

Having self-worth can help you to get through phases of not feeling good about yourself (low self-esteem) because you can hold on to your intrinsic self-worth.

Self-Esteem vs Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is not self-esteem but it is part of it.  It is important to accept all of you, warts and all as this leads to healthy self-esteem.  If you struggle with self-acceptance then you will have low self-esteem.

Self-Esteem vs Self-Compassion

When you have self-compassion, you are kind to yourself.  Being able to forgive yourself and others is also a sign of embodying self-compassion.  It is not self-esteem, but it is easy to see how having it leads to building-up our self-esteem.

Self-Esteem vs Self-Confidence

To have high self-esteem in the way you look, your smarts, personality, and success are different from having self-confidence. Self-confidence is being confident in your abilities and trusting your judgments and being able to confidently handle life’s challenges.

It’s entirely possible to be self-confident in your role at work and at the same time have an overall low opinion of yourself.  Self-confidence is an external assessment whereas self-esteem is an internal assessment.

What Is Low Self-Esteem About - Woman Glasses

Self-Esteem vs Self-Image

Self-image is how you see yourself.  Our self-image can sometimes be a little skew-whiff.  In other words, what we see is not really what is there.

Over the years there have been many discussions about how the media (and now social media) can affect how we see ourselves.  Flicking through Instagram you can go from feeling great to feeling fat, ugly, or stupid in a matter of 5 seconds.

I go into more detail about this below in Body Image And Low Self-Esteem.

Self-Esteem vs Self-Efficacy

Self-efficacy is your belief in your ability to succeed in a task or a situation.  An example of someone with strong self-efficacy:  You feel you have the ability to learn a new job even though you’ve never done it before.

Self-Esteem vs Self-Concept

A collection of beliefs about yourself, the question “Who am I” comes to mind when thinking of self-concept. Beliefs like “I am a good person”, “I am kind” and “I am a good friend”. 

The awareness of who we are is the concept of our self and not to be confused with self-awareness.

Self-Esteem vs Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is knowing yourself.  Knowing your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, strengths, and weaknesses.  Knowing why you do what you do (motivations and intentions).

Self-Esteem vs Self-Care

Self-care is something we do on purpose to take care of ourselves, whether that be mentally, emotionally, or physically.  Again, not self-esteem but it does assist us in boosting it.

Self-Esteem vs Selfies

I bet you weren’t expecting me to add this “self”.  Just for fun, I searched for articles on self-esteem and selfies.  I found two articles with slightly opposing views as to how taking selfies may affect self-esteem.  I thought it would be interesting to share them.

Psychology Today website: The study looked at whether selfies make us happy or undermined our self-esteem. They focused on a bunch of Chinese women.  Turns out the positive feedback they received from posting selfies improved self-esteem and body image.

You can read the FULL ARTICLE HERE.

Perspectives of Troy website give a few warnings about selfies saying that it can pull you away from the real world.  The article states that it is possible to get addicted to taking selfies and the attention it gives you.  This may lead to depression and low self-esteem.

 They advise limiting your selfie-taking but not stop completely.  This way you’re more likely to keep your self-esteem and confidence high

You can read the FULL ARTICLE HERE.

Okay, enough of the definitions!

What does high and low self-esteem look like?

What Is Low Self-Esteem About? - Girl Mob Phone

Characteristics Of People With High Self-Esteem

33 things people with high self-esteem do (or don’t do):

  1. They trust themselves and make timely decisions, without second-guessing themselves
  2. They avoid procrastination, stick to their guns and get on with their goals and tasks
  3. They realize that perfectionism is an illusion and they don’t obsess on everything being perfect
  4. They don’t need or require validation from other people
  5. They have a general feeling of well-being and happiness
  6. They make others feel good, congratulating them on their achievements and success
  7. They accept when things go wrong and they do not dwell on the situation but learn from it
  8. They honor their own needs and desire
  9. They take care of themselves emotionally and physically. (And they do no feel guilt with their self-care)
  10. They don’t try to please everyone, as they realize it is impossible anyway
  11. They seek neither approval or compliments from others
  12. They take risks (calculated, not silly), to put themselves out there, to experience life fully
  13. They do not entertain gossip, they have no interest in that. (They also know that what other people think of them is none of their business.)
  14. They don’t compare themselves to others
  15. Talking to other people is easy for them and not a struggle
  16. They can take criticism and they don’t fall into a pit of suffering for days afterward, judging themselves and being a victim
  17. They have boundaries and do not allow others to manipulate them
  18. They live in the Now and enjoy the day
  19. They accept themselves, flaws and all
  20. They accept others as they are and do not try to change them
  21. They value who they are intrinsically
  22. They forgive themselves and others
  23. They know they are interesting
  24. They know they are as good as anyone else and no-one is better or worse
  25. They accept that change is inevitable and they get comfortable with it when it happens
  26. They wake-up on purpose and decide that today is going to be a great day
  27. They prepare for different situations or circumstances
  28. They can laugh at themselves
  29. They know what their core values are and they live by them
  30. They are aware of their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and know why they do what they do.
  31. They’ve learned to handle all types of emotions and working through them and learning from them
  32. They continue to work on themselves, learning and growing to live their best life yet
  33. They take full responsibility for their lives and choices and never-give-up.

Characteristics Of People With Low Self-Esteem

33 Symptoms Of Low Self-Esteem Poster (Free PDF, click to download).

Different Folks Different Strokes

These two lists are not necessarily all the signs of low and high self-esteem.  Plus, you may relate to one of the low self-esteem signs but not necessarily have low self-esteem.  There could be a different reason, and with any work on yourself, further investigation may be required.

For example, the last low self-esteem example on the poster.  They sleep a lot and take naps when they don’t need them.  There could be a physical underlying issue and nothing to do with low self-esteem and a check-up at the docs would be necessary instead.

What I’m trying to say here is we are all different and for different reasons.  There’s not a one size fits all for improving yourself and your life, right?

But don’t get discouraged by that.  Instead, get excited about changing yourself and ultimately your life.

With a little investigation, you will find the clues that point to what you need to work on to. And that’s what this site is all about, to provide you with information and show you the tools that are out there.  Then you can “take the bull by the horn” (so to speak) and work on yourself so that ultimately you can get to where you want to be.

The differences between us are due to different factors.  No doubt you’re aware of some of these but let’s look at the full picture.  Growing up we’ve had different life experiences and have been influenced by:

  • Culture
  • People (parents, teachers, friends, work colleagues and acquaintances)
  • Media (television, books, movies, news, magazines, internet and social)

Low self-esteem may affect all of your life or only parts.  For me, it affected most areas of my life but in varying degrees.

Let’s look at some of those areas now.

Consequences Of Low Self-Esteem

There’s an expression used in the personal development industry that’s been around for years:

As within, so without.

Hermes Trismegistus

Simply, that means the opinions you hold internally about yourself will be reflected in your external world.

Self-esteem is your internal opinion about yourself.  That opinion will spill over into your external life, whether it is “I like me” (high self-esteem) or “I’m so useless” (low self-esteem) opinion.

Usually, you will not have great experiences if you are walking around thinking “Everything is rubbish and I’m useless 

The same is true the other way round.  You’ll have positive experiences thinking to yourself: “I look great. Glad I prepared for the interview. I’m so organized and awesome.”

Therefore As within, so without.  Whether that is a negative reflection or positive one will depend on what you are thinking.

Low self-esteem can affect one or more of the following areas of your life negatively:

  1. Relationships
  2. Health (Physical and Mental)
  3. Wealth (Money)
  4. Personal (Body Image)
  5. Work
  6. School (Academic Performance)

Let’s look at each of these areas now.

Low Self-Esteem Realtionships

Not all relationship issues stem from low self-esteem but a lot of them do.  

By the way, I’m not only talking about intimate relationships but all relationships.  It can affect relationships with friends or family members too.

What Is Low Self-Esteem About - Young Couple

Here’s a handful of these issues:


Keeping your distance in a relationship and never truly opening up and showing the real you. Fear that if you show who you truly are you may get rejected.  That fear is not present in people with high or healthy self-esteem.  They want to have an honest and open relationship and are not afraid of rejection.

Eager to Please

It’s lovely to do things or say things to others to assist them in some way or cheer them up.  But when does that type of behavior become people-pleasing and not beneficial for anyone?

When you are running around trying to accommodate everyone and please them to the point that you are run ragged and have no time for yourself.  In fact, (even though you may not voice it) you secretly resent doing some of the things but can’t say no or stop yourself.

No Boundaries

Not setting boundaries or having poor ones will allow others to literally walk all over you.

This is a biggie as far as I’m concerned.  Setting boundaries and sticking to them is VERY important in building self-esteem.

I think it is SO important I wrote a whole article on it here: The how-to Of Personal Boundaries.

PLUS I created The how to Of Personal Boundaries Guide and Worksheet – It’s FREE.


Often people think of codependence with intimate partners but it can affect relationships with family and friends too.  It depends on the individuals involved of course.

Definition of Codependency:

A situation in which two people have a close relationship in which they rely too much on each other emotionally, especially when one person is caring for the other one.”

Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries

When you are codependent with anyone, it is not healthy for either of you.

Here are some codependent signs:

  • Always with the person.  You do everything with them.  Shopping, socializing, visiting others, hobbies, interests, holidays, etc.
  • You no longer pursue your interests; it’s all about what they are interested in doing.
  • Can’t make decisions without them.
  • Addictions and bad habits are rife in the relationship.  Either enabling one or enabling each other
  • You’ve lost your individuality, you don’t even remember what you used to like.

Mainly characterized by excessive emotional and/or psychological reliance on another person codependency is a complex topic and the above only skims the surface.

Asking Permission

You always ask permission for everything.

There is respect in letting people know what you want to do or your plans.  And discussing and communicating with others is beneficial.  But when you are requesting permission to visit your friends or getting the okay on what to wear, then something is off.  You are asking permission to live your life, which is not okay.


Let’s look at two examples of being over-sensitive, one with a partner and one with a family member.

You ask your partner if the trousers you are wearing are too tight.  They state yes, a little, and with a wink, they say because they probably shrunk in the wash.  You burst into tears thinking they are saying you are fat when in actuality they wanted to make you smile because you look so worried.

Your brother decides to point out that he can see your roots are grey.  You don’t say anything but you’re upset and you complain and cry to your Mum later about it.  If you have high self-esteem, you don’t care what he thinks and you certainly don’t get upset and let it affect your peace of mind.


A lot of us have experienced being cheated on and it’s painful, heart-breaking, and sometimes life-destroying (if you never get past it).  But what if you’re the one doing the cheating?  This can point to a person with low self-esteem, for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, it could be a way of attempting to puff-up low self-esteem by proving that you can catch other mates.

Secondly, it could be self-sabotage.  Self-worth is closely related to self-esteem.  If you have low self-worth and a deep internal feeling that you are not lovable then you may sabotage your relationship by cheating.

For some reason, I used to find self-sabotage (in general) and how it related to me personally difficult to get my head around.

I had an aha moment when I became aware of how I was self-sabotaging.  Getting to the root of why I did it was life-changing.

Self-Esteem And Health

Thinking day in day out non-beneficial thoughts like “I am useless”, “Why am I so stupid”, “I look so awful” are going to take a toll on you eventually.  Physically or mentally.

Constant negative thoughts about yourself or the world, in general, will lead to negative consequences.

Remember, the As Within, So Without?

Feeling and thinking about yourself or the world as useless and horrible could lead to anxiety and depression.  That in turn could lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms like smoking, drinking too much alcohol, using drugs, or eating unhealthy foods. You gain weight and have no energy.  Your immune system takes a bashing and you feeling sick and tired all the time.

Do you see what just happened there?  That hit on mental and physical health issues in one fail swoop.

Money And Self-Esteem

Wow!  This subject has been discussed in a lot of books, seminars, and courses all over the world and the internet.  Let’s face it, most people would like more money.

The psychology of money and how to develop a “rich” mindset is another large topic area but I’ll briefly give my two cents here.

Not meaning to harp on about your internal state of being reflected in your external world but again here the concept exists with money problems.  If there are problems of not having enough money there is usually a non-beneficial or negative mindset around and about money.

Think about this.

If you subconsciously believe that you do not deserve to have financial security or that “money is the root of all evil”, how’s that going to assist you in getting out of your money troubles?

When I first heard this, I remember not fully grasping it.  Because it was related to money.  It’s that self-sabotage again.  You may or may not be aware of the beliefs you hold about money.

It wasn’t until I uncovered my beliefs about money did my money situation get better.  I held a belief of “People with money are bad” and “It’s greedy to want money”.   There were more but you get the drift here.  I had to weed out those beliefs and put in some beneficial ones like “I deserve financial abundance”.

It’s a change of mindset.

I’m not saying that is all you need to do BUT it is the start.  The foundation if you like.  First things first.  Work on your mind to ensure that you hold beneficial beliefs to support the things you want to do.  Whether you just want to stop living from hand to mouth, save money, or create financial independence.

Body Image And Low Self-Esteem

So, you think your fat, thin, ugly, or just plain weird looking? 

Who decides what is fat and what is ugly?

Have you thought about that? Pondered it?  I have.  It’s the most bizarre thing ever. 

And here’s why.

YOU are affected by:

  • Country and Culture
  • Time Periods and Decades 
  • Other People
  • Media, internet, magazines, shops, movies, and TV.
What Is Low Self-Esteem About? - Girl Mask Mirror

A little boy or little girl growing-up in the United States will have a completely different opinion on what is beautiful or ugly than a little boy or little girl growing-up in Indian.

A person born now will have a different opinion on what is fat and what is thin than someone born in the 1960s.

Where and when you grew up influences your opinion on how you look.  And who and what you are surrounded with influences you too.

It’s important to realize that there is no definitive definition of what is fat, thin, ugly, or beautiful.

How can there be when there are so many different cultures and people giving different ideas on their ideal body image or face?

So, I ask you again: Who decides what is fat and what is ugly? 


That means that you are as beautiful and lovely as you believe you are.  And if you do not believe that way right now, it’s okay.  There are ways to change that.

I know that is easier said than done BUT IT CAN be done.

Low Self-Esteem In The Workplace

You didn’t apply for that job promotion.  Or ask your boss for a raise because you’ve taken on more work and responsibility.  That is, you probably didn’t if you have low self-esteem.

Believing that you’re not good enough or not as good as everyone else will prevent you from applying for a promotion.  Or thinking about what others will think of you if you do apply for it and you don’t get it.

Not confronting your boss to discuss how much your job has changed and that there has been no salary increase to reflect that change is not the sign of someone who values themselves.

Doubting your abilities and yourself will stunt your growth in the workplace.

What Is Low Self-Esteem About - Working Woman Stressed

Low Self-Esteem And School

School performance can be affected by low self-esteem by reducing the desire to want to learn.  Being able to focus is important at school or university.  With low self-esteem, that focus can become blurry or nonexistent.

A student with low self-esteem and low self-worth will have a dramatic effect on not only their studies but on many other areas of their life.  Dealing with different activities and challenges in life can be difficult in general.  Not believing in yourself and your abilities makes everything doubly difficult.

Now you know what self-esteem is, the consequences of having low self-esteem, and the areas of life it can affect.

So, what now for you? 

Here are some ideas on where to start if you want to increase your self-esteem.

Low Self-Esteem And Procrastination - The Magical Fix

Are you thinking that it’s a BIG reach if I think I have the magical fix for beating procrastination?

Maybe.  But I speak from experience when I say I have overcome my procrastination.

Don’t get me wrong.

I’m not saying that I never ever procrastinate.  I do (occasionally) BUT the difference is:

  • I recognized when I’m doing it
  • It doesn’t get out of hand
  • It doesn’t last, continuing into the next day or further
  • And it doesn’t have a diabolical effect on my life.

I can hear you.  Yeah, yeah but what’s the fix?  The magical fix? Tell me now! 

The magical fix was realizing why I procrastinated and then discovering how to beat it.

The number one reason at the root of my procrastination: I procrastinated because I believed the illusion.

Look, I wrote a dedicated post on this subject as it was a huge issue in my life until I decided to educate myself on the subject.  I learned to define how I procrastinated, why I procrastinated, and how to overcome it.

Not Sure If I Have Low Self-Esteem Or A Realistic View Of Myself?

I’ve done a lot of serious talking so I figured the above self-esteem humor was needed. 🙂

Where are you in relation to your esteem?  The place you’re at could be a temporary state or a more permanent one.

You could just need a little jump start on getting going.  Maybe you got dumped.  You’ve taken a knock to your self-esteem.  But you have high self-worth and you’re okay, just a little bruised.

On the other hand, you’ve tried to change your life.  But nothing sticks.  You revert to your old patterns of behavior.  You want to break that cycle and stop the negative talk going on in your mind.

In other words, if it’s a kick-start you want there are things you can do right now.  But for the big change, you’ll need to make a commitment and then do the work.

Not sure where to start on big change

Wait until the end of this post for a big tip on how to do that.

Here are 3 things you can do immediately:

  1. Do something from my GET GET GET list 20 Quick Ways That Will Make You Boost Self-Esteem NOW  below.  (Print out the FREE Info-graph and stick where you can see it).
  2. Read my articles that are specific for what you need.  For example, if you know you want to set healthy boundaries, read The how to Of Personal Boundaries.  There are practical tips that you can apply and include a FREE Guide and Worksheet.
  3. Do a quiz online.  There are loads of them and a lot are free.  Have a Google.

To get you started here is an external link (not mine) for a low self-esteem quiz – the Rosenberg Test

This information may highlight things you didn’t know or confirm things you already did.

There are 10 statements with multiple choice answers to choose from.  After that, you give your age and gender, and then a graph is shown.  Marks out of 30. Scoring below 15 indicates low self-esteem.

20 Quick Ways That Will Make You Boost Self-Esteem

  1. GET Outside – gardening, walking, sitting in the fresh air
  2. GET Doing – do 1 thing from your daily to-do list
  3. GET Sweaty – dance around for 10 minutes
  4. GET Pumped – stretch, exercise for 10 minutes
  5. GET Smiling – force a smile (fake it till you make it)
  6. GET Straight – sit-up straight and stop slumping. Shift your posture and shift your mindset. Which you can also do with the next GET.
  7. GET Posing – stand like Wonder Woman or Superman, hands on your hips. OR pretend like you’ve just won something and shoot your arms up in the air like a champion
  8. GET Smelly – smell something you enjoy smelling, a candle, perfume
  9. GET Pampering – take a long bath or shower, get your hair done, get a massage
  10. GET Feeling Good – listen to your favorite music
  11. GET Writing – your achievements and remind yourself that you are amazing
  12. GET Organised – write a to-do list
  13. GET Journalling – brain dump everything you are thinking about onto paper, how you feel and what you need to get done
  14. GET Relaxed – lay down, stretch, squeeze and relax body parts starting with your toes and working up until you reach your face. Take 3 big deep breaths, hold as long as comfortable and release slowly. Lay thereafter basking in your relaxed state.
  15. GET Chatting – speak to a friend 
  16. GET Talking – have a word with yourself, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you can are awesome and pep yourself up
  17. GET Random – with kindness, do something kind for a stranger
  18. GET Assisting – assist someone to do something
  19. GET Rid – of the attitude, stop dwelling on the negative and on past things you cannot change
  20. GET Watching – your favorite feel-good movie
What Is Low Self-Esteem About - Girl Magnifying Glass

Know Yourself - Become Sherlock Holmes

Actions speak louder than words.  Wanting to change yourself and make permanent change takes time and a lot more action.

But sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know. I’ve been there.

Part of building-up my self-esteem and self-worth and accepting myself began with getting to know myself.  Know yourself and Know thyself are used interchangeably.  They are scattered around the internet, in books and I’ve even seen them on t-shirts. The expression has been around for a long time.

But what does it really mean?

Simply this. Discover why you do (think and say) the things you do.

Be aware of what you are thinking and doing.  Examine why you are thinking about and doing those things.

Why is that so important to do when you’re trying to make lasting change?

You will find what makes you tick.  And shed light on your beliefs that I held in your subconscious mind and affecting your life every day.  Once you know the beliefs that are not supporting what you want in your life, you can get rid of them and change them to ones that do support you.

THAT is where the magic happens.

You become Sherlock Holmes in the sense you start to privately investigate what is going on within you and get the clues that point to where you need to change.

Last year I created a course on Udemy last year called Change Your Mind TO Change Your Life where are talk about how to change your limiting beliefs. 

You can change your mind to change your life, believe it!  

ONE Thing You can Do NOW To Build Up Self-Esteem And Start Towards Making Long-Lasting Change

If you’re eager (and great if you are), there’s 1 thing you can do NOW: Become self-aware and record what happens.

To be clear, do this:

  • Stop being on autopilot. Become aware of what you are thinking, saying, and doing. 

  • Start recording stuff.  Record in a journal, on a laptop or mobile (however you wish).

I hear you say “BUT what do I record?”

Record the things that disturb you or your peace of mind.

Throughout your day, if you get disturbed by something (angry, upset, annoyed, irritated, etc..) or you do something you didn’t want to do (like eat, drink, smoke) record what happened. Include what you were thinking as well as the actions and people involved.

At the end of the day, take 10 to 15 minutes to look at what you have noted down.  And ask yourself why you reacted the way you did.  Or what prompted you to do the thing you didn’t want to do. And record that too.

This is a great way to start knowing why you do the things you do.  And to start to uncover what is really going on in your mind consciously, but more importantly subconsciously.

Then you will know what to change in your subconscious mind.  Once you change those internal programs, you will start to see a change externally.  Change your mind and change your life.

Believe that you CAN change and you WILL change.  It’s not too late.

I’m going to leave you with a final quote, from one of my favorite TV shows.

“There comes a time in everyman’s life when he must stop thinking and start doing.

Captain Benjamin Sisko from Deep Space Nine

The name of The Game is Experience so let us experience Connecting and Sharing.

Tell me a story or give me a comment related self-esteem.

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